A couple of weeks ago I commented on a friends FB post with the words to Sam Cooke’s “A Change IS Gonna Come”. I did not know how true that would be. I’ve contemplated the news for several days. I’ve talked to my BFFs and lamented over the situation. As the days passed I kept getting the feeling that I need to blog about the situation. Now I’m not one to put myself or my business out for public viewing, but every day the urge to blog gets stronger and stronger.  I put it off and put it off cause I’m not a blogger. I’m not consistent, I’m not politically correct in my personal life, I curse, I pray, and I’m hella random (really, really random. My stream of conscious is awesome! I can jump from subject to subject within a second flat.). I’m who I am and I make no excuses. But the urge to blog has not left. So I blog.

I’ve had medical problems most of my life. I almost bled to death before I was diagnosed with PCOS. After having my son my PCOS calmed down and things got better. For awhile. I started getting sick again. Over the years I’ve visited so many doctors. I was told over and over that nothing is wrong, they can’t find anything, my blood work is fine. Hell, I had a male doctor tell me that it was just female issues and was all in my head. Now this is the second time this has been told to me. The first time, my mother excused me from the examination room and proceeded to curse the doctor for several minutes (I was in the hall listening at the door. My mother was a sight to behold when you wronged her children.)

So last year around July, I started feeling as if my body was going to give out. I’ve always been a big girl (big, fat, phat, thick interpret as you want), but I was comfortable in my skin. Until July. Then I started feeling the weight. I started feeling the heaviness. I went to at least 4 doctors during that time and out of all the blood work done, the only thing I was told was that my blood sugar was a little high and I need to change my diet and come back in 3 months for more blood work. They could find nothing else. I didn’t get better. I got worse. I stopped telling people how I felt. I started keeping it to myself. Hell if my doctors won’t believe me, why would anyone else believe me. I’ve heard I’m just a hypochondriac (I hate doctors only went when I couldn’t take it anymore. So, how does that make me a hypochondriac?). I need therapy. I’m crazy. So I kept it to myself. After posting to a forum about acne treatment, a Soror and I started talking. We had similar medical problems. She told me about Bodylogic and how they helped her. So I called. After getting blood work and a urinalysis, I had my first appointment. Now I had my blood work results before the appointment and I went in thinking this is going to be like all the rest, she’s not going to believe me and I’ll have to find someone else, this will be a waste of money. She asked me what I was feeling, describe what was going on and she sat and listened. Then we discussed my test results.  She looked at me and said, you have metabolic syndrome. You display 3 out of 4 of the risk factors. You also have a vitamin d deficiency, your arteries are inflamed,  and your testosterone levels are exceedingly low. Here’s what we will do. I cried…I wasn’t crazy…all the money I spent wasn’t a waste…I was right. I was sick. And I finally found a doctor who could help me heal.

If I had believed what I was told, I would continue to get sick until my body gave out. I would miss seeing my child grow up. But I couldn’t give up. I knew I was sick and I just needed to find a doctor who could figure it out, who could help me. Even after 4 days of being on medication, I feel more alive. I’m starting to feel like myself again.

And to all the doctors, associates, and yes some family who told me it was all in my head, that I was crazy, that I’m nothing but a hypochondriac…I have one thing to say…FUCK ALL Y’ALL!